Remembering

I subscribed to facebook so I could see pictures I friend of mine in South Dakota put up of his sons and their new dog little did I know over the next month I would come face to face with many feelings I thought I successfully dealt with over the past 20 yrs.

I have now either gotten in touch with or been contacted by about 1/3 of the people I went to high school with. Now you may tell yourself that it isn't any big deal but personally I am very ashamed of the person I was 20+ years ago. I was a very angry person with little empathy for my fellow man I could go thru daily life showing or having any feelings what so ever. I could have been described as the kid that pretty much kept to himself and I had a very low self esteem.

What happened to make me that way? I'm not sure but what I do know is that I hit a point when I friend was in a tragic car accident and I watched his parents literally cry out to God in anger and ask why. It was shortly after this that I began to wonder what I should be doing with my life. I didn't cry out to God I just asked why me since everything I had ever wanted to do as a young teenager I was unable to do and I was completely lost and was really just wondering aimlessly. I think everybody has times in their life that they make shallow cries to God like "oh God if you get me through this test I will study next time". In my case I found people that loved me not because of something I could do but solely because I was a person/sinner/man lying beside the road beaten and robbed it was at this point that Christ went from being a story in the Bible to being a real person to me.

Now 20+ yrs later I can't quote chapter and verse scripture but I can share the basic Gospel with you I have learned to look for God in everything from sunrises to sunsets (they are like snowflakes no two alike). I have watched Jesus at work in the slums of Tegucigalpa Honduras when I saw young boy that was discovered to be very nearsighted get his first pair of glasses and I was blessed to witness Jesus that day. I have truly seen the example of the widows mite when an old women took her money and bought Pepsi to share with us because of her joy in getting new glasses so she could read her Bible. I have seen first hand how 80% of the world lives and my heart ached because "I" couldn't help them all but I have learned that I am not supposed to help them all. We are just to be available to do His work when He asks.

So what now, trip to Kenya, full time mission work, I don't know but here is my basic prayer for myself. I pray I don't screw my kids up to badly I love them and they work very hard at the things they enjoy. I just hope we have "built" them on a solid foundation that will survive when lifes storms come. I pray my wife and I will become an embarrassment to our teenage kids because I want us to be crazy madly in love with each other as an example to our teenage children that are surrounded by families that seem to crumble when the least little storm comes.

What really matters?

This past weekend I was a little out of touch since I only had a slow internet connection and didn't want to use the cellphone. We made a "quick" trip out east to Virginia to attend the Commisioning the nations newest aircraft carrier.
Upon seeing all these young men and women that we have intrusted this 7 billion dollar plus piece of equipment to and that have taken an oath to "defend and protect" the Constitution of the United States of America I started wondering what really matters?
Does it matter what designer gown some actress wears on the red carpet at some awards show? Does it matter who is "The Biggest Loser"? Does it matter who the American Idle finalists are? Does it really matter what Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields are trading barbs over in the press? My answer to all these in NO. In light of the things that have happened to my friend this year and the plight of two little girls down at Riley Childrens hospital in Indianapolis those things are very trivial.
The things that matter to me are through all the illnesses and injury we face we have Hope. This Hope does not care who wears what dress with which shoes or who sings the best. This Hope is possible thru the faith in our Saviour Jesus Christ. I still believe that Jesus knew all our names when he was hanging on the cross.

It has been a strange time for me.

Friends wife diagnosed with cancer and watching from afar as she not only seeks to touch the robe of Christ she has grabbed ahold and priased him at every chance she gets. Another friend getting married I am very happy for him he really deserves to be happy. I have seen people angry with God not realizing he is reaching out to them just begging them to reach across the gap and take ahold of Him. I seem to finally be passing into the age when our childrens generation are beginning to get married and soon will be starting their own families I hope the best for Jonathan and Amiee on May 15.
What do I want in 2009 im almost afraid to say it because it may happen but I want to be at a point that when God calls im there ready to do as he asks. I want to be able to not be so relient upon myself but be relient on God and his timing and his place. Maybe this will be the year I will learn how to live in this world without being "of" this world.

Happy New Year may the Lord Bless you in all you travels.

I am very sad.

I have now started this post 3 times and I can't put into words how I feel, but a very dear friend was diagnosed with cancer a month ago and went through 6+hrs of surgery today. I so want to rejoice for her and Tim but I am sad. My prayer for them is that God will wrap his healing hands around their family and hold them so close that every breath they take can be felt in Gods palm.

Amen.

Sometimes you get something worth while forwared to your inbox.

My Uncle Ed is my moms oldest brother and he has embraced technology better then anybody I know of his age (he's 68) and he send me all kinds of stuff. Some of it isn't worth the electricty used to send it sometimes he comes across some pretty neat stuff. This is what I got today in my daily email from my Uncle and it does suprise me a little but it did make me a little weepy.

It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription.
It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas --oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it.
The overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma --
the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties, and so forth.
I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin,
who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended.

Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church.
These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together,
presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.
As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear,
a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford.

Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat,
he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, 'I wish just one of them could have won,' he said.
'They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them.' Mike loved kids -- all kids -- and he
knew them, having coached little league football, baseball, and lacrosse.

That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of
wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree,
the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing that year and in succeeding years.
For each Christmas, I followed the tradition --one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game,
another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.
The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning, and our children,
ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toy s gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure.
The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief
that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning it was joined by three more.
Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad.
The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation,
watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

May we all remember Christ, who is the reason for the season, and the true Christmas spirit this year and always.



God Bless! -- pass this along to those friends and loved ones who you know are the givers who understand the true meaning Christmas.

What TV used to be!

Rember this? Make sure you watch at 4:30 it gets good.

Man I luv Christmas lights!!!! CRANK UP YOUR SPEAKERS