Remembering

I subscribed to facebook so I could see pictures I friend of mine in South Dakota put up of his sons and their new dog little did I know over the next month I would come face to face with many feelings I thought I successfully dealt with over the past 20 yrs.

I have now either gotten in touch with or been contacted by about 1/3 of the people I went to high school with. Now you may tell yourself that it isn't any big deal but personally I am very ashamed of the person I was 20+ years ago. I was a very angry person with little empathy for my fellow man I could go thru daily life showing or having any feelings what so ever. I could have been described as the kid that pretty much kept to himself and I had a very low self esteem.

What happened to make me that way? I'm not sure but what I do know is that I hit a point when I friend was in a tragic car accident and I watched his parents literally cry out to God in anger and ask why. It was shortly after this that I began to wonder what I should be doing with my life. I didn't cry out to God I just asked why me since everything I had ever wanted to do as a young teenager I was unable to do and I was completely lost and was really just wondering aimlessly. I think everybody has times in their life that they make shallow cries to God like "oh God if you get me through this test I will study next time". In my case I found people that loved me not because of something I could do but solely because I was a person/sinner/man lying beside the road beaten and robbed it was at this point that Christ went from being a story in the Bible to being a real person to me.

Now 20+ yrs later I can't quote chapter and verse scripture but I can share the basic Gospel with you I have learned to look for God in everything from sunrises to sunsets (they are like snowflakes no two alike). I have watched Jesus at work in the slums of Tegucigalpa Honduras when I saw young boy that was discovered to be very nearsighted get his first pair of glasses and I was blessed to witness Jesus that day. I have truly seen the example of the widows mite when an old women took her money and bought Pepsi to share with us because of her joy in getting new glasses so she could read her Bible. I have seen first hand how 80% of the world lives and my heart ached because "I" couldn't help them all but I have learned that I am not supposed to help them all. We are just to be available to do His work when He asks.

So what now, trip to Kenya, full time mission work, I don't know but here is my basic prayer for myself. I pray I don't screw my kids up to badly I love them and they work very hard at the things they enjoy. I just hope we have "built" them on a solid foundation that will survive when lifes storms come. I pray my wife and I will become an embarrassment to our teenage kids because I want us to be crazy madly in love with each other as an example to our teenage children that are surrounded by families that seem to crumble when the least little storm comes.