It had seemed quiet.

The beginning of 2008 was a time that I felt God had been quiet in our lives and I wasn't sure why. We seemed "comfortable" but maybe on autopilot would be more appropriate description. Tracy and I had decided to separate ourselves from our current Sunday school not because we didn't care about the people but because we didn't feel like we were being feed. Tracy and I were invited to join a group of people to be the first to go through the Marriage Dynamics program at NMC. I couldn't put my finger on the time since then but I think this song pretty much covers our last year.

John Waller - While I'm Waiting (Official Music Video) from Provident Label Group on Vimeo.

Just busy.

Man it's gotten a little crazy again around here but were surviving.....I still hate the IRS

Stress or the Flu?

Lately I have had this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I first thought it was the flu but I am thinking it's from stress. I can't help but be overwhelmed with all the doom and gloom that we are bombarded with everyday. I keep returning to this

MATT 6:25(AP) "Therefore I tell you,(AQ) do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26(AR) Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.(AS) Are you not of more value than they? 27And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his(AT) span of life?[g] 28And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29yet I tell you,(AU) even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you,(AV) O you of little faith? 31Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For(AW) the Gentiles seek after all these things, and(AX) your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33But(AY) seek first(AZ) the kingdom of God and his righteousness,(BA) and all these things will be added to you.

34(BB) "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

I just can't shake the feeling of the earthly unknown. I was really feeling I was on the upswing of all this when I relapsed.

Who's side are you on?

I got hit in the head with a frying pan this morning while sitting in first service at church it was Joshua 5 13-15
13When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold,(O) a man was standing before him(P) with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, "Are you for us, or for our adversaries?" 14And he said, "No; but I am the commander of the army of the LORD. Now I have come." And Joshua(Q) fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, "What does my lord say to his servant?" 15And the commander of the LORD’s army said to Joshua,(R) "Take off your sandals from your feet, for the place where you are standing is holy." And Joshua did so.
I don't want God on "my" side I want to be on Gods side doing his will in my life. I can't tell you how many times I have screwed up Gods plan because I thought my way was better or faster.

Thanks Dave I needed this

Random Thought

Do you ever make race car sounds when you pass other cars in traffic?

Listen to your friends

Thanks Rhonda I needed this "assign me my portion and my cup (Ps. 16:5)" Im learning our cup is probably exactly the right size.

Whats on my mind this week? Romans 12 1 And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

I keep coming back to the "all he has done for you"

As we are coming into the Easter season I can't help but remember sitting in a theatre watching the "Passion of Christ" and even though it was in Aramaic I knew what was being said and wanted to stand up and scream "STOP" when Christ was being beaten and flogged as tears rolled down my face.

One thing I have learned is that as belivers we shouldn't discount or disregard others struggles as meaningless to us because we don't relate to them or don't think their struggle is a big deal. We should hold them up and encourage them.

Remembering

I subscribed to facebook so I could see pictures I friend of mine in South Dakota put up of his sons and their new dog little did I know over the next month I would come face to face with many feelings I thought I successfully dealt with over the past 20 yrs.

I have now either gotten in touch with or been contacted by about 1/3 of the people I went to high school with. Now you may tell yourself that it isn't any big deal but personally I am very ashamed of the person I was 20+ years ago. I was a very angry person with little empathy for my fellow man I could go thru daily life showing or having any feelings what so ever. I could have been described as the kid that pretty much kept to himself and I had a very low self esteem.

What happened to make me that way? I'm not sure but what I do know is that I hit a point when I friend was in a tragic car accident and I watched his parents literally cry out to God in anger and ask why. It was shortly after this that I began to wonder what I should be doing with my life. I didn't cry out to God I just asked why me since everything I had ever wanted to do as a young teenager I was unable to do and I was completely lost and was really just wondering aimlessly. I think everybody has times in their life that they make shallow cries to God like "oh God if you get me through this test I will study next time". In my case I found people that loved me not because of something I could do but solely because I was a person/sinner/man lying beside the road beaten and robbed it was at this point that Christ went from being a story in the Bible to being a real person to me.

Now 20+ yrs later I can't quote chapter and verse scripture but I can share the basic Gospel with you I have learned to look for God in everything from sunrises to sunsets (they are like snowflakes no two alike). I have watched Jesus at work in the slums of Tegucigalpa Honduras when I saw young boy that was discovered to be very nearsighted get his first pair of glasses and I was blessed to witness Jesus that day. I have truly seen the example of the widows mite when an old women took her money and bought Pepsi to share with us because of her joy in getting new glasses so she could read her Bible. I have seen first hand how 80% of the world lives and my heart ached because "I" couldn't help them all but I have learned that I am not supposed to help them all. We are just to be available to do His work when He asks.

So what now, trip to Kenya, full time mission work, I don't know but here is my basic prayer for myself. I pray I don't screw my kids up to badly I love them and they work very hard at the things they enjoy. I just hope we have "built" them on a solid foundation that will survive when lifes storms come. I pray my wife and I will become an embarrassment to our teenage kids because I want us to be crazy madly in love with each other as an example to our teenage children that are surrounded by families that seem to crumble when the least little storm comes.